The transformation...
The transformation - the aha moment came in the form of pain. I was being "scolded" for doing something "wrong". It was certainly a familiar feeling to me. As a former people pleaser I had felt this feeling before whenever I "spoke up" and said what was on my mind. Or went against my inner knowing and did or didn't do something I knew I should or shouldn't have. I DID feel like I wasn't really wanted there. Whether it was true or if I was creating it to BE true - I felt