New Years Eve 2020
I love the fact that I am sitting alone in my room on New Years Eve 2020. This is exactly where I want to be right now. I am incredibly happy to be quietly contemplating this past year of my life, where I am in this moment, and where - or more accurately - who I want to be in the coming year.
In the past I have picked words to represent the year ahead. I have picked - Epic, EpicKER, and Excellence.
One of my favorite books is called "The Exquisite Risk - Daring to Live an Authentic Life" by Mark Nepo. I picked it up "randomly" yesterday morning and when looking at just the cover, started to contemplate that wonderful title. There is something about that title that really speaks to my inner being. I just love it. Part of me loves it because I have spent a lot of this past year working on truly being my most authentic self. This is not an easy task all the time. It can be easy to get caught up in the energy, the thoughts and the fears of other people. This year especially, the emotions that came up for so many were difficult to wade through at times. I just kept going back and asking myself - "If I were being MY most authentic Self and was living what I know to be true for me, how would I be feeling? How would I be acting? What message/energy would I be sending out?" It always helped me come back to my Highest Self which knows that there is no reason to fear - no matter what is happening.
So, when thinking about a word that I might want to represent my 2021 I contemplated the title of this book. There is something really beautiful about the word "Exquisite." I looked it up and a few of the definitions include:
b: Marked by nice discrimination, deep sensitivity, or subtle understanding. 2a: Pleasing through beauty, fitness, or perfection
c: Having uncommon or esoteric appeal
(Interesting that I am just now realizing all these words I have chosen start with the letter 'E'!)
I love all of that! If I can look ahead a year from now to New Years Eve 2021 and say that I had worked all year at being, beautiful, delicate, ingenious, sensitive, understanding, and uncommon, that would seem like a notable kind of year. What a worthy and deeply connecting pursuit to invite myself to step into a life of that kind of Exquisite Risk.
To be honest, I probably can't tell you exactly what that is going to look like. I think it will be a journey of discovery for me to find out what a life like that means to me in a day to day sense. But I AM extremely interested in it and I am definitely on board to be daring enough to live an even more authentic life!
SO - 2021 for me will be the year of Exquisite Risk.
I open myself to what this will mean for me. I dedicate and commit myself to keeping those words in the forefront of my mind and let them guide my decisions and behaviors. I look forward to the blessings and gifts waiting for me in the journey.
I will close out this, end of the year blog post, with this quote that Mark Nepo put at the beginning of his book as it sums up beautifully what I feel is at the heart of a life of Exquisite Risk.
Holding space and listening with attention and care - to mySELF and others...
With deep love,
"We cannot change the world by a new plan, project, or idea. We cannot even change other people by our convictions, stories, advice and proposals, but we can offer a space where people are encouraged to disarm themselves, lay aside their occupations and preoccupations and listen with attention and care to the voices speaking in their own center."
~~ Henri Nouwen