...for now, I will focus on the birds.
I love to move. I love clearing out things, giving a bunch of stuff away, cleaning things I don't normally clean... (I don't think I have ever dusted the top of my curtains... Lol!) and finding old writings. I don't write much, but I want to. Every so often, my daughter Josie will MAKE me write. Haha! This day about a year and a half ago she gave me a prompt. She KNOWS this is my least favorite way to write and she also knows that's why I would want to do it. :D
I find it so interesting to read things I have written in the past. It is interesting to see where I was in my mind then, and so see where I was in my journey. And it makes me SO happy when I read my past writings knowing I am not in that place anymore. I LOVE knowing that I have grown and changed and awakened.
I wanted to share this story because the new year is coming up. 2020 has been a challenging year for many people but it has also been such a blessing because it is truly giving people the opportunity to do things differently. It is giving people the chance to reflect on what is truly important and perhaps make some changes.
About 10 years ago I made some big changes in my life. The prompt for those changes? Going back and reading 3-4 years worth of New Year's Resolutions. It struck me hard that for those years, my resolutions were exactly the same. That means, I hadn't changed; my life or my SELF - like I had desired to.
That year, then, my ONLY resolution was to make sure my resolutions the following year were different. Not because I just decided to change them, but because I had made the changes I had desired for so long.
I hope you enjoy this very personal
writing. I can't QUITE remember the exact prompt Josie gave me but I think it was just the scene of walking down a pier... BIG LOVE!
June 21, 2019
I'm sure I looked like I was contemplating my entire life sitting there all by myself. I had walked down to the pier to try and clear my mind. So many thoughts and feelings swirling around. I was all alone on that bench and that's exactly what I wanted.
It can be difficult in this world to be such a spiritual person. I feel like I am constantly wanting to feel like I am serving my purpose in every moment. But honestly, the deepest part of me knows that the most important thing I can do is stay connected to my Source, knowing that in any and every given moment, I will be guided. I need not worry or plan anything at all. But then, thoughts creep in about needing to plan things, and that I need to be doing doing doing. It seems to be a constant back and forth and my desire, after having done this for 20 or more years… is to find that peaceful place where I know what I know and live that.
Mmmmm… I love watching the birds. The birds on this pier are just in the moment. I wish I were more like those birds. Unafraid, Connected… peaceful.
I feel like I could be peaceful if there were no other people here. Haha! But I also know that some of life's most important lessons and gifts include other people. Can I lean into that? I decide I can certainly try. So, what do to with those people that I tend not to agree with? For so long I just pulled back and allowed them to think and do whatever they wanted to think and do and I went about my business. To me that was loving detachment and me creating my reality by focusing on those that I got along with. But, I am also here, I believe, to help guide people through their lives. I am here to be love, to be the EXAMPLE of love in the midst of peaceful and also chaotic times. What does the presence of love do in the midst of chaos and opinions, including my own? Is it important that I tell people what I am thinking and how I feel? When is it important for me to express my warrior self?
I decide that for now, I will focus on the birds. I will feel into their messages and their energy knowing that when I do that, I will be tapped into my Source. The Source that is me always knows the answer. The minute I decide that, a wash of pink and white light pours over my physical body and I know….