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The journey of my healing from an eating disorder... (Part 1 of 5)

Yesterday I posted a “Transformation Tuesday” picture of myself after deciding about a year ago to put on some muscle mass. So amazing that last night I wondered if I should tell the story of healing myself of my eating disorder and then happened to received a message this morning from someone asking me about it. So, I decided I would share the story of my journey. I hope that this helps someone else out there in their own healing journey. I may write this in a couple different notes and maybe make a video or two because honestly it really has been quite a long process. Let me give you a quick little background to start. I have always loved exercise. When I was young I was always on the monkey bars, always running around and racing the boys and even punched an unsuspecting boy in the arm in kindergarten who had told me that boys were stronger than girls! I began ballet and tap when I was around 5 years old although we couldn’t afford for me to go for very long. Fast forward to the 1984 Summer Olympic Games. I was 11 years old and I watched Mary Lou Retton win the gold medal for the United States in gymnastics. All I knew from that point on was that I wanted to do what she was doing. I started gymnastics that fall and fell absolutely in love with it. A year later, I went through puberty. My hips widened, I grew to the height I am now, (which is tall in gymnast terms) gained some weight and became increasingly chesty. Gymnasts were supposed to be small. I wasn’t. In my eyes anyway... The summer I turned 14 I remember coming home from a school clothes shopping trip. I don’t remember weighing myself much before this moment but all I know was that when I stepped on the scale that night and saw that I weighed 105 pounds, I freaked! I KNOW that doesn’t sound heavy but I think I honestly didn’t think I was even close to 100 pounds and immediately panicked. ​ That was the day it started. The day I decided to take “control”. The day I decided to start depriving myself of food and exercising to lose weight and try to become “small” again.

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